#crime man

[localmaiden]

I like to think this is in the same universe as Crime Man and he’s in the groupchat too.

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

[crime-man]

Indeed I am! Look forward to my continuing adventures soon!

And read what I've been up to so far on AO3

Please note that it lists my civilian identity on there. I trust my followers to keep tight-lipped about it, but do be careful not to accidentally show it to a criminal who might be lurking behind you!

[agentwaffle]

I'm gonna say it im sorry but "crime man" is just crazier and gayer Carmen sandiego

[pippindot]

Yesterday morning Dipper threw a package of muffins on the floor and ate the top of one when it popped open. Tonight he helped himself to the chicken chickpea curry I made and was caught orange-handed!!!

[randomguy0ntumbir]

So the Jedi are Crime Man

Hey have we considered that the reason that one guy in the Prequels was really chill about offering some Jedi death sticks isn't some massive conspiracy that the Jedi are all doing massive amounts of drugs, or even that he didn't realize they were Jedi, but instead that arresting people for non-violent drug offenses is fucking evil and the Jedi aren't cops? And the people of Coruscant generally know that as long as they're not killing people the Jedi aren't actually interested in fucking them over?

[gambleputty]

It’s my headcanon that Crime Man studied law specifically just to break it

Not even to become a lawyer or anything he just wanted to know all the shit at his disposal for his schemes

[kirballi]

Oh no! You’ve just discovered a plot to rob a bank and don’t know how to stop it?

Burn down the bank.

No one can rob it now.

[autisticsupervillain]

This feels like something crime man would do.

[engagewharf9673]

I think @crime-man deserves a spot in the [The Bargain Bin Cinematic Universe](https://youtu.be/zhsueRDHJUs?si=7TKSLY6lRqdcK_vJ). This sounds like an insult but when you take a look at the project it feels like Crime Man just… belongs.

A Superhero Universe comprised of nothing but Public Domain Heroes and Villains and a mishmash of ideas that just somehow… works. Think about it, Crime Man would probably be that one Superhero that pisses off every other superhero with his antics. Kinda like Deadpool but without the fourth wall breaking.

Just a thought that intruded my head and stole my attention span. Ya know, like Crime Man would!

[jim-the-trash-king]

You’ve all heard of Crime Man, now get ready for Doctor Warcrime. He’s a bit more than extra.

[dougielombax]

The only problem…

Is that the detective we have hired to solve this murder….

Is a completely and utterly inept moron.

Yeah

Shit happens I guess

[charlesoberonn]

I have lore about Crime Man's childhood and tragic backstory but I can't share it yet because I need to reach the appropriate point in the story.

It's very frustrating.

[thedeafprophet]

hmmm i wonder if i should expand more on Alex's connection with the criminal underworld... ive always thought the gracious widow is cool....

[cozylittleartblog]

i dont know how to explain it but joining extremely small fandoms with only a few people in them feels like this

[redsray]

the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

[vespertilionis]

During Jason’s crime lord era

Dick: “I’ve pinpointed all the locations where Jason was sighted. Maybe there’s a pattern and we can see where he’ll turn up next.”

Bruce, staring at the map, very clearly spelling “fuck you”: “…There certainly is a pattern.”